A Letter to My Two Year Old

Emmelyn,

You just turned 2. Where has time gone? I can’t believe that you aren’t a baby anymore- you are officially a toddler. My beautiful, little, red-headed, blue-eyed toddler.  This year has flown by and has been an adventure filled with love, laughter and smiles. It has also contained a lot of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and too many bags of goldfish crackers and cheese puffs.

This year I had the pleasure of watching you transform from baby to toddler, right before my eyes. You began this year with a whole lot of pointing and one or two words and now you are using full sentences and repeating everything that you hear. You went from walking along the furniture to making me chase you down the block. (Seriously, I can’t turn my back for one second). You are your own mini-person now and want to do a lot of things on your own, which makes me both proud and a little bit sad that you don’t need me as much. You are so smart and resourceful.(You use the stool from your room to get things off Mommy’s dresser). You can count and you know a lot of shapes. You have an amazing memory- especially for songs. You love to sing and have memorized not only the words to “Let it Go” from the movie, Frozen, but also the hand gestures Elsa makes while singing.  You sing Happy Birthday, Row, row, row you boat, If you’re Happy and you know it… During the winter, I took you to a Musikgarten class and the teacher said you were way ahead of the other kids your age. (My little genius!)

I love watching your little mind process things and wonder how, at just 2 years old, you understand so many things, so many words and how you just soak up everything around you.

You love so many things, especially Minnie and Mickey Mouse (who you call “hot dog” because he does the “hot dog dance” at the end of his show). We had a Minnie Mouse birthday party for you, complete with Minnie Mouse herself, and you were in heaven.  When people asked what you liked, the answer was everything (except vegetables- you HATE veggies and when I sneak them into your food, you wipe off your tongue and say “ewwww!”). 

You love animals. Horses, cats, dogs, frogs, ducks, you name it. When we take you to the farm, you are full of excitement and say “Hi, moo moo!” to each individual cow. You love the water. I can never get you out of the pool or the tub and if I turn my back on you for one second you will get in the pool with all of your clothes on. You are so adventurous. So adventurous that you learned to swim this year. You need a floaty but you can paddle your way to the side of the pool, all by yourself! You really have no fear (which scares me sometimes).  You love coloring and “reading” and blocks. 

It has been a big year for you. You are a big sister now and you are a great one. You love to hug and kiss Aubrey, sometimes a little too tight but you mean well. You always make sure that we don’t forget her (not that we are going to, but you are sure to point out “Hey! Look! Aubrey!”). You tell me if she is crying and you try to share your toys with her. If you are in the mood, you will hug and kiss everyone (sometimes you will even run up to me and hug my leg really tight for no reason- God, I love that!), but if you aren’t, look out! However, no matter what kind of mood you are in, you always have hugs and kisses for your baby sister. Even when you don’t want to share, you always share with Aubrey. It amazes me how there is no jealousy or competition (yet), just pure sisterly love. It is like you know that she is going to be your very best friend.

You have so much energy. Sometimes I get tired just watching you or chasing you (which you love). Every night before bed time you get this burst of energy and run laps around the house or dance in circles. I love it because it is probably your giggliest time of day and I love that laugh and smile of yours more than I can say.

You do have your moments when your overly tired or frustrated and your little red-headed Irish temper reminds everyone that the Terrible Two’s are a real thing, but mostly you are a loving, caring, happy-go-lucky little girl. You love to play with other kids, you can entertain yourself, you can adapt to anything. 

I pray that you keep that little friendly, independent, happy fiery, spirit. I pray everyday that I will be the best mommy I can for you and that I will be the mommy that you need and I pray that someday, you will have your own little girl so that you can truly understand how much I love you. 

I want to thank you for choosing me. You are the best little girl and big sister that anyone could ever have dreamed of. I am so lucky to be your mommy. You’re an amazing and beautiful daughter, that makes my every day and I am so thankful that you are mine. 

Mommy loves you to the moon and back and to the moon and back and to the moon and back and to the moon and back and to the moon and back and to the moon and back and to the moon and back a million billion time. I love you so so so so so much, my sweet two year old! 

Xoxox.

 Love,
Mommy

P.S. If you could slow down, just a little bit mommy would appreciate it. I just want to hold you a little longer.

Meet Our Newest Princess, Miss Aubrey Violet

There was a ray of sunshine, on a winter morn

the day our baby girl was born.

At 6 a.m. on January twenty eight,

Our little princess arrived, exactly one week late.

Seven ponds, 2.6 ounces to handle with care;

Twenty one inches and a head full of hair.

Soft as a whisper, so precious and sweet;

Tiny perfection from her head to her feet.

Her big sisters loved her the moment they met.

Mommy and Daddy called her Aubrey Violet.

We love her so much! We are so happy and overwhelmed with her cuteness. God has blessed us, again.

Baby Two Blues- Am I the worst mom ever?

Baby #2 is coming and I am not ready. I feel awful that I am not-- guilty really.

10 days until her due date and we have done the small things. Hospital bag is packed, coming home outfit chosen, name picked (we even had it embroidered on her coming home/hospital outfit).

However, other than purchasing a double stroller, no other major changes have been made. The furniture isn’t assembled, the painting hasn’t been done…

But that is not the part I am talking about. I am not ready because I am not ready for my baby to not be “the” baby anymore. Is that terrible?

I have heard of second baby guilt and have seen lots of blogs about how moms feel bad for not being able to do as much for their second child because they have to split their attention (i.e. not taking as many pictures or documenting as much for baby number 2). I am sure that guilt will come, too, but right now, it is all about my first baby.

She is only 19 months old and I feel like she hasn’t been the baby long enough. She is the center of attention and the center of my world but I suddenly remember every time she wanted me to sit on the floor and play but I didn’t or every time I yelled at her for not listening. I second guess everything- could I have spent my mommy and Emme time better? 

As we get closer, I hold her tighter and more often (even though my little girl would already rather run free), but I am running out of time. We are about to rock her little world by bringing a baby sister into it. How is she going to feel? Is she going to know that we still love her just as much as before? Is she going to be sad when I can’t hold her because her sister can’t hold herself? Is she going to know that she will always be my baby, even if she isn’t the only baby? Is she going to understand why we have less attention to give? Did she get enough time to be the littlest one?  Is she ready to be the big sister?

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I don’t want Baby #2 (we aren’t telling her name until she is born) or that I don’t love her because I do. Very much. I am just not ready, today.