Dance Mom Problems!

We signed Olivia up for dance this year. She has been going to classes since September with her BFF, Alivia, for tap, jazz and ballet. I learned recently that three dances may have been a bit ambitious.

The dance recital is coming up, so I thought, this is a good time to have her practice her dance. The teacher burned (or is it burnt?) us a CD of the songs they are dancing to and told us to have them practice at home. She was  reviewing it in class and telling me that she knew the dance, so we didn't practice much, but since there was no class held on the week of Memorial Day, I thought it was a good time to brush up on some dance skills. Turns out, they should have been practicing a long time ago!  It may be too late to save this recital.

I got the girls together and we played the CD and...they just stood there.

(Yup, that looks a lot like the face I saw)

"Uhhh, were we supposed to dance?"
YES, please!
So we try again. This time they dance and the first few steps don't look bad, but all of a sudden they are doing two completely different things and then BAM- nothing! They just stop.
Uhhh, we forget!

I thought you knew the dance? You both told me that you were so good at it and were ready for the recital. What happened?
"We don't know. We just can't remember." 

What about the part where you were doing two different things? Are you supposed to do two different things?
"What part?" 
ALL OF IT!
"No, we don't think so!" 
Do you know who was doing it right?
I got a simultaneous- "she probably was!" (So they aren't even confident in the part where they were actually dancing)
What have you been doing in class?
Learning the dances!  (Obviously not!)

Luckily, I recorded one of their dances classes, on my phone so I was able to teach it to them. Step by freakin' step, while watching a tiny little video on my IPhone. Did I mention that in the video, none of the kids in the class are doing the exact same thing, so I wasn't sure that I was even teaching them the right thing? One of those kids have to be right... I went with the little one in the front who seemed to be paying more attention than the others.

While we are learning the ballet dance (which took forever because they forgot each step almost immediately), they continuously assured me that they were so much better at the tap and jazz dances. They liked those songs so much better so they were better at those dances.

So after they have a mild idea what they are supposed to do and I encouraged them to "when in doubt copy someone else but don't just stand there", we move on to Jazz (still have tap ahead of us) and boy, oh boy, they were right about one thing, they do like this song better because they know all the words....too bad they don't know any of the steps!

I was pretty close to going full Abby Lee Miller Dance Mom on them, but at this point, with tap still untouched, I didn't have the time. I did get pretty close though.
What are you guys going to do if you don't know the dance on stage? Are you really just going to stand there like you just did now and make that 'I have no idea what I am doing? Where am I?' face?
"No?"
Is that a question?
"No. No, we won't."
Then what are you going to do?
"We don't know. Just remember it?" (Again, a question??)
Well, I didn't know 'just remembering it' was an option. Why didn't you say that before we started? Why don't you "just remember it" right now?
"Ummm, cause we can't remember."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Let's move on to tap. They loved this song. Again, they knew all the words but the dancing was worse than jazz. I had been wondering why the teacher hadn't just put them in the back of the group and hope they copied the others, until I took a closer look at the video I had taken of class and then I saw, well, you can't put them all in the back row, can you?

This recital could very well end up a disaster of little girls, running into each other on stage, but as long as no one gets hurt or just stands there and stares at the audience, I am going to consider it a success at this point.

We also have to change their hair in between dances, as if, getting a 7 year old to sit still and look straight ahead while you pull out all of the bobby pins and brush through the hairspray that was required to get their hair to stay in a low ponytail with a side part, isn't hard enough, we have to refashion that mess into a nice, high bun with no fly-aways and a tiara. She doesn't have enough hair for a high bun! (We will be using a Hot Bun! Yup- As Seen on TV- "You'll have the best buns in town!") And have you ever tried to put eyeliner on another person? How about a 7 year old?

Tonight is our dress rehearsal. I hope the Miss Emily is prepared to "unteach" them all of the dance moves I taught them during our home lesson. (Hey! She was the one who told me to practice with them!)

Wish us luck!